True Friendship
(With none of that Sissy girly Crap!!!)
Are you tired of those girls ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our friendship.
1. When you’re sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you’re blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you then call you a wanker.
3. When you smile — I will know you finally got a root.
4. When you’re scared — I will take the piss out of you about it every chance I get.
5. When you’re worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit your fucking whining.
6. When you’re confused — I will use little words and talk real slow..
7. When you’re sick — Stay the fuck away from me until you are well again. I don’t want to catch whatever you have.
8. When you fall — I will point and piss myself laughing at your clumsy arse.
This is my oath….. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask? ‘Because you are my friend’.
Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
Send this to ‘all 6′ of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don’t send it back to me…i really don’t give a shit!!!)
And remember….when life hands you lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me and we’ll get shit faced together.